The funny thing about people is that they live their lives in their heads. Take trust, for example. When someone betrays another’s trust, is it always because of transgression by the other person? Or is it because one person’s action did not match with the idea that the other person had in his or her head? If that seems a tad confusing, let’s dig deeper.
Do people marry the person they are in love with or do people marry the idea of the person they are in love with? Innumerable divorces are testimony to the fact that something has gone wrong somewhere. Look at the fights couples have. We get a lot of insights into the ideas people have in their heads. We come across shocked statements from one spouse or the other, “I can’t believe you said that to me.” Why is there such disbelief on confronting a word or action from someone? The shock and disbelief stems from the fact that the action of the other person did not correspond to the idea or the image that was held in this person’s mind.
Some people think they are made for each other. Is it probable that the images they have in each other’s heads match? When the behavior of one person corresponds to the image held in the other person’s head there are fewer conflicts and apparently more love and understanding. In fact, knowing this by itself will help reduce conflicts between people. Why is that so?
Imagine this scenario. If people understand that everything is about the ideas they hold in their head they would be more forgiving of others. They will see that it is impossible for others to always behave exactly the same as the image in their head. Do we behave exactly the same way someone has imagined us to be? Doesn’t this mere idea make us more tolerant?